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The Martian Coffe incident

posted Dec 22, 2011 00:23:33 by EricWethington
Battlefield Report
The Martian Coffee incident

There I was, Captain Eric Wethington of the Artemis Class Cruiser "Jimi Saru", on a well deserved shore leave. I had yet to disembark when a Commtech (Communications Technician) came running down the hallway.

"Capt! incoming transmission for you, Sir!" she stuttered. Not knowing whether to salute me or not (I was in my civilian clothes). I dropped my bags and headed for the nearby comm relay station. After hitting a few log in keys, Fleet Admiral J.D. Feirgenholt appeared on the screen.

"things a little relaxed on your ship Captain?" he asked almost disapprovingly. I mumbled something about 6 months since my last shore leave but his stern look told me to keep my mouth shut.

"Captain", he said, "I am ordering you to Quadrant 4 in the Feujin system. There you will rondevoux with a martian convoy and escort them to their destination."

"Beggin your admirals pardon, isn't there another ship that can babysit the martians? I am just about ready to go on shore leave? What are the hauling anyway that an Artemis class cruiser is needed? weapons? fuel rods...?" I asked getting a little edgy.

The admiral leaned into his consul "Coffee"

"Coffee?!!?, COFFEE??!?! a full military escort is needed to protect Martian Coffee?!?" I balked, and was about ready to go into hysterics, when another person with a reddish tint skin and inky black hair turn the communication so he could be seen. Great! a martian!

"Captain, you have insulted your allies in the struggle against a common foe! Our coffee is well known for its potency! AND our scientists have discovered that to the Argonians it acts like a narcotic. If you don't protect us and our trade routes, then we may have to reconsider our military support in the war effort!"

Great! a Martian diplomat! I was never good at politics and I could tell that Fleet Admiral was under a lot of pressure to make sure they stayed on our good side.

Biting on my teeth I managed to say "Your orders.... Admiral?"

"Escort martian convoy, then you may return to shore leave duty, leave immediately and any crew already planet side will just have to find things to do until you return.... godspeed captain" as he flicked off the comm.

"Which senior staff are still on board?" I asked the Commtech. After hitting a few buttons on her data pad and a small frown, I could tell it was more bad news.

"It seems only the Ensign Spencer from Tactical/Weapons is left, Sir" she glanced away nervously, "All others are either planet side or at the Biotech conference on Deneb".

"Tell Ensign Spencer to meet me on the bridge, he is my number one for this mission. And tell anyone left in Engineering I'll need several patches to rig stations together to operate from one console."

After 3 days travel at maximum warp, and some expertise from our engineers we arrived at the rondevoux place with Nav/Engineering linked and Weapons/Science linked. We were going to ignore Comm station, I don't want to talk to the Martians right now....

"Captain" Ensign Spencer noted "Long Range Scanners indicate 4 SCI convoy ships jumping into the sector"

"Fine, pull up beside them and lets get this over with." and after a few simple warp jumps the job was almost done.

I was sitting in my Ready room looking out the portal waiting for the final convoy ship to jump to this sector when a Commtech came in and said "Last ship reporting in"

"Thanks" I barely looked back in their direction. I wonder what all the BS was about needing an Artemis Cruiser for an escort? They have destroyers and sloops that could have done this mission. politics, hmmff.... and Martian Coffee is an Argonian Narcotic? Sounds like BS to me, that stuff tastes like swill and smells like a 2 week old litter box from a Plutonian cat! Time to finish this "mission of great importance" and get back to shore leave.

Just as I walk through the archway to the bridge....

"RED ALERT! RED ALERT! multiple enemy ships entering Quadrant" so much for a quick end to this mission....
"... ooops!"
Last words of Captain Phour Phazier Phred from Phremont
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2 replies
ThomRobertson said Dec 23, 2011 19:42:50
Funny stuff!
Creator of Artemis
EricWethington said Dec 24, 2011 00:41:21
this is what happens when only one crew member shows up for an improptu game. I ran a split screen main screen and Nav/Engineer and Spencer ran Weapons/Science. We kept it to level 3. We did play Trials of Deneb03 and almost won. We even led some enemies into the black holes.

"... ooops!"
Last words of Captain Phour Phazier Phred from Phremont
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